1) Confrontation in life is inevitable. When you live and work with human beings you are exposed to the complexities of relationships and are subject to credibility and communication. In a confrontation you end up in hurting others feelings. This culminates in the other person harboring prejudice against you. The situation becomes more complex if both of you reside in the same neighbourhood, paving way for frequent quarrels. The difference in both of you keep sparking a string of squabbles which in turn sabotages peace. Either of you seek solace in your interminable spats - a true catharsis to your frazzled nerves. Confrontation should be handled tactfully. It is not the situation but the way we react to it. We can't tailor make the situations of life, but we can tailor make the attitude to fit them before they arise.
2) I believe that good life is not a passive existence when you live and let live. It is an involvement where you live and help live. No man is an island but when faced with pressures of life, we tend to forget this inter dependence. Interact with people frequently. Always perceive the good things in people and appreciate them. Never burn your bridges. Do not underestimate others. Be nice to people on your way up because you will meet them on your way down. Address the other side with tact and show concern for their dignity. Despite their having a reputation for being obnoxious and negative they will be completely enamored by your positive approach.
3) The first step in tackling a confrontation is to talk it over to the other person instead of harboring resentment. When you dislike the situation it does not tantamount to disliking the person. Rationalize with yourself and see that the pent up feelings are drawn away. Accept hard realities instead of brooding over them. Suffering and adversities are passing phase in one's life. Don't think that you have been singled out for misery. Adopt a right attitude towards life and cultivate emotional resilience. The way to become unhappy is to keep your hurt inside. Life is not about blame but about healing. You are solely responsible for maintaining healthy relationships from your side either through a change in attitude, a change in perception or a change in behavior.
4) The way you define your life determines your destiny. It is said that when you sow an action you reap a habit, when you sow a habit you reap a character and when you sow a character you reap a destiny. Life is a circus, a mini field, a roller coaster, a puzzle, a symphony and a journey. Life is also defined as carousal. Sometimes you are in high spirits, sometimes you are depressed. Life is a game and negotiation is a way of life. If you wish to succeed in life you must comprehend the game in its entirety.
5) Politeness and powerful behavior or assertiveness rather than aggressiveness are the factors for a positive confrontation. The polite part of confrontation is known as etiquette. What do we mean by etiquette? Etiquette means the code of polite behavior in a society. It means treating others with tact in both words and action.
The fundamental principles in a positive confrontation would be -
a) Gain awareness of how you present yourself.
b) Limit the assumption you make about the behavior of the people.
c) Learn to reduce conflict in your life.
6) First establish a rapport with others. To establish a rapport you have to build a relationship based on mutual trust and harmony which can be achieved by good etiquette. Major rapport is based on a ongoing relationship. Establish a better rapport with people you already have a long relationship. When you try to build a rapport with people always greet them. Say hello, good morning, thank you, have a nice day. You should handle yourself with grace and humor. True humor is when you laugh with people and not at them.
7) Humor needs to be clean so as to bring people together and not turn people away you can't have fun when you put people down. Humor without sensitivity is satire.
8) The next step is the body language. Body language is an indicator of your ethic and how you carry yourself. Pay attention to your body language. It depicts a strong non verbal message to the other person. Always have a pleasant facial expression. Look the person in the eye occasionally, but do not stare at him. Don't huff and puff and fidget. Tone down your voice in a confrontation but be clear in what you say. Be specific and don't beat about the bush. Cultivate a good posture with a smile. It indicates your friendliness and confidence. The other person who confronts you will be positive to your approach.
9) When confronted with a problem don't label the other person as selfish. You need to concentrate on him and not his behavior. Avoid blaming and accusing the person and do not comment on his behavior as lazy or disgusting. Do not exaggerate or generalize by using such words as "always, seldom, never etc." On the contrary be specific and tell the person what is bothering you about his behavior. Tell him politely what you expect him to do to change the situation. If he is adamant think of alternatives or consider whether to continue the relationship.
10) Try to avoid confrontation to the extent possible. I don't mean you should be naive when being intimidated by others. In such a situation speak your mind in a direct and firm manner. Ensure that you are not made a scapegoat or a door mat. Put across the fact that you cannot be taken for a ride. There is much put and prudence in the argument that a bit of assertiveness on one's part would come as handy to keep on a tight leash on the person who tries to intimidate you.
11) The first step to avoid confrontation is to arrange for a meeting with the person. Approach the person in a respectful manner and keep a watch on your voice. You don't want to pick a fight. You start the talk by saying "I believe that it is appropriate for you to know that you have hurt my feelings by your vitriolic outbursts and ugly invectives hurled on me". If the person continues to shout at you tell him politely that shouting at you will not help you to help him, on the contrary it makes both of your unproductive. You also need to tell him that it is not the appropriate way to talk to you. You can tell him to come back to you when he can talk calmly and you will be only glad to continue the discussion.
“The purpose of life after all is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience” - Eleanor Roosevelt
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